They Married Who?
by StrongHermione
Summary: Harry and Ron left one month after the final battle to 'find themselves'. Eight years later they returned as suddenly as they left, expecting Ginny and Hermione to have waited for them. Are they in for a shock!


**_Disclaimer_: _Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling et al. Anything you recognize is the intellectual property of these individuals and corporations. I am just having some fun._**

**_This is a small story that knocked about my head today. Obviously AU. I hope you enjoy it._**

Ginny and Hermione were sitting under the shade of an umbrella in the forecourt of Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour in Diagon Alley. The day was beautiful and sunny and the two young mothers decided their children would benefit from the fresh air. Deciding to indulge in their favourite creamy confection they had commandeered one of the best tables in the sun and settled in for the long haul. Elizabeth and Simon were set up with colouring books and crayons and the two spent some enjoyable time colouring dragons and fairies in their books while their mothers caught up with each other's lives since the last time they had seen each other.

Talk soon turned to Hermione's upcoming birthday. "I don't see what the fuss is about. I'm going to be 27; it's not like it's a milestone birthday or anything but Lucius is insisting on the full works. I would be more than happy with the six of us, the three of you and your family for an outdoor dinner."

"That's why he wants to spoil you Hermione, because he knows you would be happy with less," Ginny replied as she wiped ice cream from Simon's face. "Compromise, make it a daytime garden party. It will be a lot more casual and will be over by 4pm or so. Then we can stay for a barbeque and we can have the family dinner you want while Lucius has his networking thing in the afternoon."

"Why do you always make so much sense?"

"It's a gift," Ginny smirked.

"Can I open it?" asked Elizabeth excitedly from her place at the table. Hermione and Ginny laughed.

"It's not that kind of gift Sweet Elizabeth," Hermione replied indulgently.

"Oh," the four-year-old said, disappointed. "But Mummy, I have to buy you a gift for your birthday!"

"We can get it later when we do the shopping."

"But then it won't be a surprise and I want it to be a surprise," Elizabeth argued.

"I tell you what Sweetness," Ginny proposed. "Let's you and I go quickly now and pick something out while Mummy and Simon stay here."

"Okay," Elizabeth agreed happily. "Mummy," she whispered. "Can I have some money?"

Hermione suppressed her laughter. Reaching into her bag she pulled out a small amount of coins and handed them over. "That should be enough Elizabeth."

Elizabeth climbed down from her chair and happily took Ginny's hand as the two made their way out. Hermione could hear them discussing where they should go and smiled when Elizabeth emphatically exclaimed they should go to the bookshop which was "Mummy's favourite shop in the whole world!"

She spent the next few minutes helping Simon with his colouring and telling him the story of the daring escape she and his Uncles Ron and Harry had on a dragon from Gringotts many years ago. The two-year old didn't really understand what she was saying but he laughed at the sound effects and the hand gestures Hermione made as she told the story. She had just sat back in her chair, surveying the crowd of people passing when a voice so familiar to her yet not heard in eight years shouted "Hermione!" As if in slow motion she turned her head and right there on the other side of the barrier was Harry Potter!

Hermione jumped out of her chair with a happy scream of "Harry!" and threw her arms around him in a jubilant hug. "Is there a hug there for me too?" came another equally familiar voice. Hermione started to laugh as she wrapped both her boys in a bear hug, her happiness at seeing them finally, overcrowding all her other emotions. Well, nearly all of them. As she drew back she brought her hands up and clipped both of them in the back of the head. "That was for leaving without saying goodbye!" she admonished firmly as she retook her seat. She gestured to the seats left vacant by Ginny and Elizabeth and the two men climbed over the barrier taking the seats while rubbing the backs of their heads. Simon was watching with wide eyes and Hermione noticed he was about to start to fuss so she took him onto her lap and started to help him colour again as a distraction.

Harry reached across and ruffled the boy's hair gently and was rewarded with a grin from Simon, now safely ensconced on his Godmother's lap. Ron had become somewhat sullen since sitting down and noticing the child with Hermione. "No offence Hermione, but he looks nothing like you," Harry observed the dark hair and eyes and pale skin of the toddler.

"Well, I'm sure his parents will be happy to hear that," retorted Hermione brightly.

"Oh so he's not yours?" Ron questioned, suddenly bright eyed again.

Hermione paused, wondering if she should reveal that Simon was actually his nephew. She decided to withhold that little titbit for now until Ginny returned. In the meantime she simply stated, "This is Simon, he is my Godson." The two men nodded their understanding and just as Hermione was about to start questioning them regarding their absence, a shout rendered the air "Mummy, I got your present. It's a book!"

Hermione laughed as she turned her head towards her daughter running up again. "You're not supposed to tell her what it is Sweetness; it will ruin the surpr-" Ginny stopped at the sight of her brother and his friend seated oh so casually at the table. With a squeal of delight she jumped on Ron, hugging him and kissing his cheeks. Elizabeth looked on wide eyed as her Godmother admonished the man for leaving with nothing but a note left on a table. She noticed the other man sitting there, looking a little put out. She recognised both of them from the pictures at home, and the many at the Burrow. She sidled over to her mother's chair and leaned against the arm rest. The dark haired man noticed her. "Now this one looks like you Hermione," he stated. Hermione had reached her arm around her daughter and formally said "Harry Potter, I would like you to meet my daughter, Elizabeth M-Malfoy," she stumbled a bit over her surname, knowing the reaction that was about to explode from the two men. Ginny climbed off Ron and came over to pick Simon up from Hermione's lap and sat down in the remaining chair. '_This is going to be a hell of a conversation_,' she thought as she took the remaining seat. Hermione pulled Elizabeth into the space vacated by the toddler and raised her chin, ready for the ensuing fight.

"MALFOY?" screamed Ron, his face turning red.

"Yes Malfoy and I would appreciate it if you would moderate your tone around the children," she said forcefully.

"But he was horrible to you all through school, Hermione," Harry spoke as though addressing a wayward child.

"Well, Draco has apologised for the way he treated me in school and he has grown up, Harry," Hermione said, deliberately choosing to let Harry believe she was married to Draco. It would satisfy the petty nineteen-year-old within her much more when she revealed who she was truly married to. The petty seventeen-year-old inside Ginny was crowing as well, ready to add her impact into the conversation as soon as possible. Neither had to wait long. Both children were positioned in such a way that they were able to see the pedestrians as they approached. Harry and Ron had their backs to the footpath, therefore neither of them was ready when both children gleefully shouted "Daddy!" as they looked over the shoulders of the two men seated at their table. Harry and Ron turned, their eyes widening as they took in the forms of Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape making their way to the group. Harry turned back in shock as he heard Simon happily say to Ginny "look Mummy, Daddy come."

Ginny could see the shock on her husband and his best friend's faces turn into identical Slytherin smirks as they recognised Ron and Harry at the table. She noticed Ron and Harry gearing up for an epic shouting match and mindful of the children present and the crowd they were swiftly drawing as word got around that _Harry Potter_ had finally returned, she forcefully said "neither of you say one word," pointing at Ron and Harry in turn. "Both of you meet us at the Burrow in one hour. Everyone can be brought up to date at the same time that way." She stood and gathered her things, passing Simon to Severus over the barrier and making her way inside to settle the bill. Hermione also stood and chuckling at the fish-like expressions on the faces of her former best friends brightly quipped, "Well one hour. See you then." She also passed her child over the barrier to her husband and following Ginny inside, she left the two men sitting at the table, dumb-founded at the turn of events.

Lucius and Severus favoured both men with smug looks as they carried their children to where their wives had emerged from the interior of the cafe. Without another glance, the four adults apparated away with the two children. Harry turned to Ron and said "Maybe we shouldn't have gone without them."


End file.
